When I first started, there was no such thing as lifetime ban or clear chat options on MyFreeCams. We really had to sit there and stare at the verbal abuse until it was tipped or chatted up the page out of sight or we logged off long enough for the page to reset. It was relentless bullshit and I wasn’t equipped for it. Douchebags honestly seem to prey more on the models who struggle. Haters thrive on hurt because they hurt. They need comfort and a warm milk bottle. How can you deny them?
Who couldn’t love such pure assholes for what they do best? These guys are a joke, so who are we to deny them their fullest potential?
It’s your domain
There’s a reason you’re in control of the ban/block button. Use it. What you say goes and this is to uphold the quality of your work for you and your fans. It’s all at your discretion. Sometimes this is the first and only thing you need to do. Sometimes this is the only thing you should consider doing. It’s a form of refusal you should practice either way. If they make you feel …icky… Get rid of them. We get to set the standards on how we’re treated. Tell those twats to remember who’s house they’re in.
Be flexible, as you see fit
I’m still surprised all the time by people who actually “come back from” a block or ban by tipping and apologizing and/or explaining themselves, respectfully. They end up being sweet people and repeat tippers.
Misunderstandings do happen. It’s probably more common for me because I discriminate so hard, so fast that I’m more likely to misunderstand some people in the various translations of interacting virtually. Sometimes they just need to be banned again and your first instinct was correct.
Pick your battles
I mean this because some trolls are there to throw you off; they are the truest time wasters and they should never be entertained. Sometimes it’s just not worth your energy or attention. Sometimes you just don’t want to fuel anyone’s trash fire. Let them stink it up somewhere the fuck else. This next bit is certainly not intended to victim blame but sometimes it’s actually safer to not engage certain types. Some need to be dealt with swiftly and with a harsh, permanent rejection.
Have your fun with it
These guys really, truly, ain’t shit. They “ain’t paying your rent,” to quote our Goddess, Cardi B.
They have too much time and too little sense of self. They have not one single skid-mark of business bringing their bullshit to an adult entertainer’s stage, but most of them probably do have skid-marks, so, “don’t let the skid-mark-havers get you down!”
I actually made a small poster saying that and pinned it up in the strip-club dressing room for the dancers! After a few days a DJ got butt-hurt about his own skid-marks and took down all my various motivational posters.
“This shit isn’t positive!” The girls liked them.
I love using hecklers as cannon fodder. I usually resort to this before lifting a finger to ban them. They have a next button for when they can’t handle their actions being flipped on them. I’m pretty quick with my wit and comebacks these days; I wasn’t always—shit sucked for me plenty. Now I’m taking names.
I used to joke with my friend at the strip club that it’s a good thing they’d never let me DJ because it’d be dead. We’d have like one customer, a new one would walk in and on loud speaker I’d go, “Hey, everybody get a load of this fuckin’ guy!” and scare him off…
I always roasted idiots at the strip club, while the other dancers cackled about it. I loved cheering up my peers with my quick humor to shitty situations. It carried us to higher places. My chat-room tippers tend to love it, too. Think of it like sports. Batter up! Who’s next? Who’s stupid enough to bring my hell-hammer down on their head? Who wants some? I have to get my rocks off these days but I’ve honestly always been inclined to call it like it is… Call them the fuck out. Whatever it is, they come in all forms. It’s great fun and cathartic practice. I love fucking with unsuspecting fools who really weren’t here for me in the first place.
Bet your ass I will waste their time if they were wasting mine. Bet your ass I will troll the trolls. Almost. Every. Time. … When it starts to seem like they’re just flooding in to fuel that fire more, however, I focus back on my tippers and don’t let them waste any more time. Just ban.
Boundaries and standards are attractive
I used to tell my super hot stripper friend that her boundaries were seriously one of her most attractive qualities… because it was damn true.
That woman knew how the fuck to say “no.” I loved it. We often relished in each other at work. We usually perched ourselves in one spot all night and waited for respectful motherfuckers to come correct with cash in hand. More customers show more respect when they’re given boundaries anyway. It’s hot as hell when a woman knows what she wants and asserts it. Don’t worry about your’s scaring off the good ones, it will attract them.
We must consciously target the audience we desire and actively cull through the rest. We are not for everyone and they are not for us. Dickwads and douchewaffles will probably always be a factor in any facet of our work but they don’t always have to be a factor that hurts us or stops us up. We can surmount them creatively and diminish their effects. We can support each other and love ourselves harder. We can discourage them. We can deter them. We can scare them off.
When possible, try not to be phased
They really don’t deserve that much control over your feelings or time. Sometimes it’s easier said than done. Some days our resilience is better than others. Do what feels right by you at any given time, be gentle to yourself with whatever state you’re in and you likely won’t go wrong.
Try not to isolate yourself with their abuse. When you put the spotlight on them, it holds them accountable. They are wrong after all. They should be getting hard looks. They should be feeling insecure.
Some of them are trying to scare you. Fuck that stupid shit. Most of it is utter bullshit bluffs, but if you’re ever really feeling endangered I’ve laid out some tips in the previous article and will continue to expand on it.
I hope this helps make your work less daunting and anxiety stricken. I hope this makes your work more fun and lighthearted for you and your fans. Maybe some of what I had to say was obvious; maybe it just bears repeating in the face of adversity. Either way, I’m here for you babes.
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